You have all engaged in pillow talk, seen pillowface and experienced pillowy soft but have you ever been in the eye of a pillow tornado? Read my blog to find out what happened and why it probably won’

My business partner and I used to own and operate a B&B in Logan Lake, BC. It was a beautiful log home up in the Coquihalla Mountains and we got it for cheap because it wasn’t finished. The two of us were full of renovation bravado and excited to be starting something new, but nine months later, after an expensive and difficult reno, our excitement was evaporating. We set an opening date so we could get motivated to get finished and get the business up and running.

     We had to buy so much stuff to fill the B&B. When we were living in Vancouver we barely had any furniture. A drum set took up the living room and the downstairs was occupied by guitars, pianos and recording equipment for our music lesson company. Our friends would ask us why we were living this way as we entertained them and all sat on the stairs. We just didn’t care.

      But now we had 3 new beds in our B&B and they all needed pillows. That’s four pillows for each bed. But in hotel pillow math that’s actually twelve pillows plus two spares for each room. At the time, to me, it seemed perfectly reasonable that we needed eighteen pillows. We were situated near the biggest Copper Mine in the world and would be housing rowdy miners. I might have been overly concerned about party vomit.

     Off we went to Wal-Mart in Kamloops to get all the pillows. My partner said it was our last purchase. I agreed enthusiastically but I did not mention the scores of decorative pillows that I was planning on purchasing….I would bring it up later….you know…..add a few in here and there quietly over the summer.

      As we stood in the bedding aisle, we realized that we had grossly underestimated the sheer bulk of the new pillows as we quickly filled up one grocery cart. Only five pillows would fit. I ran to the front of the store to fetch 2 more carts. With a train of grocery carts overflowing with pillows and a couple under each arm we manoeuvred our way to the front of the store.

     People glanced at us with amused curiosity.

     A baby girl stared and pointed at us, “P-yo…P-yo!“ she exclaimed in her squeaky, little voice. Her mother whispered sweetly, “I know…. sooo many pillows.”

     The check-out girl looked tired and a bit annoyed when we pulled up our carts in front of her till.

      Beep.

      Beep.

       Beep.

       She waved her electronic wand magically over the pillow tags. She stopped.

     “Hey, I am not supposed to ask customers what they are doing, but why do you have so many pillows?”

     “We’re starting a B&B in Logan Lake,’ said my partner enthusiastically. He took a breath to launch into a detailed sales pitch.

     “Ok, cool”, the girl interrupted quickly.

     A line of pillows inched forward on the conveyor belt. We stuffed them back into the carts for their final journey out to the car.

     As we pushed and pulled our load through the glass front doors we nearly collided with a young man.

     “Whooooa brother, hit and run!” he joked and held up his arms like he was under arrest, “But I guess you’ll be alright with all those pillows around you.”

     It was March in Kamloops. The snow was gone but the earth was dry and if the wind whipped up and rolled down the plateaus the valley would be engulfed with thick clouds of dust and sand in seconds. As soon as we stepped outside we realised we were in the middle of an infamous Kamloops dust storm with three carts of unsecure pillows.

     Pillows started flying everywhere. They were bouncing and tumbling to all corners of the parking lot all at once. It was a tornado of pillows.

     “Hold them down!” my partner screamed as he raced off to herd and collect the wild stampede of pillows.

       I threw my body over top of one of the carts and rolled it slowly through the gusting, sandy, brown air to the car. The other two carts were a lost cause. One was empty and on its side already with a wheel spinning in the air. The sand was in my eyes and pelting against the side of my face but I made it to the car without any escapees. My partner returned out of breath with three pillows and we stuffed them into the trunk.

        Pillows were still rolling and bouncing all over the parking lot. We both ran off in different directions to round them up. After three trips we had managed to corral all the pillows. Since the trunk was now full we jammed the rest into the back seat up to the ceiling and slammed the doors.

     The front seat of the car seemed extra dark and quiet since all the back windows were blocked with pillows.

     The wind howled as my partner got into the driver’s side, and then subsided as he slammed the door and lowered his head onto the steering wheel trying to catch his breath.

     “That’s it, right Karla? We’re done right?” He looked me in the eye.

      Oh no...how was I going to break it to him? I breathed in.

     “We still need blankets, “I explained gently, “We didn’t have enough room in the car to get them today.”

     Before he could explode, a lone pillow went cartwheeling silently across the asphalt in front of us.

     “Oh… I’ll get it.” I offered helpfully while unbuckling my seat belt.

     “J@#$, F#3ing Ch&*t’, he muttered wearily as he exited the car and slammed the door behind him.

     As I watched him chasing down the pillow across the parking lot I wondered how I was going to tell him about the towels, the other set of decorative pillows and soon there would be holes to dig in the rock hard soil for plants and trees we didn’t even have yet. I sat in my evil kid energy and devised an information pipeline as the storm brewed.